I'm turning 23 next month and while I feel as though I've accomplished much in my short life, I feel as though I've never really put my heart first. Choosing a college major is the perfect example - I reasoned that if I was going to be spending thousands of dollars on a top-notch education, I might as well learn as much as I could in a field with promising earning potentials. That was my head speaking. When dating Matt, I reasoned that he would make a perfect husband and father, however I also fell in love with his mind and soul. That was my both head and heart speaking. Now, I've just completed 4 months at a company that is so profit focused and completely dismal that I put in my two weeks notice without any job to go to after and no regards to the consequences. That was my heart speaking. For me, different life stages have different bodily leaders. I guess my heart is tired of being ignored and finally started to take a stand.
I feel like a quitter, but I am so tired of doing stuff that makes me miserable. I'm too young to be forced to sit in a corner all day and babysat so I don't text or chit-chat with my co-workers. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be miserable anymore.
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Matt supports me, as he always has with my silly life questions. He's tired of it too. Am I scared? Heck yes. Am I happier? Right now, I'm not sure. I'm playing the "Ignorance is Bliss" card and hoping that there is something better just around the riverbend. I don't want to think about the bills I have to pay or the poor state of the economy or my slim chances of getting another job. It's much too depressing and I don't have time to think about that stuff anyway. Although trying to fall asleep has taken longer and longer each night haha.
I believe in a higher power and I believe that he knows me and wants me to be happy too. I've been praying for an opportunity to open up for awhile now, but nothing has. Maybe I was blessed with the courage to quit because I need to be unbound so that I can start on a new opportunity. Maybe this was his was of saying, "Shanette, you keep asking for a miracle but I can't give you one until you are out of there!" Does he even talk like that? I don't know, but I do know that he answers prayers and looks out for me.
Friends, while I'm waiting and praying for a miracle to happen, could you do me a favor and keep your eyes out for me about any job opportunities? I'd really appreciate it. And I know my heart is just waiting to tell my brain "I told you so".
So which is better the follow - your head or your heart?
Hey Shanette! Really awesome question. I've thought about it before too. I have found that with decisions that are particularly important, it's my head and my heart working together. However, sometimes thoughts come to my head that try to convince me that what I'm doing is wrong. I usually find that those thoughts aren't really from MY mind, they're from the mind of the world, they try to use too much logic and not enough context to try to reason with me. If I really quiet myself and listen to what my heart is feeling, and then what my mind/spirit knows, I usually find they want the same thing. It sounds to me like this quitting your job was the right decision- you don't seem like someone to act rashly. Quitting a job doesn't make you a quitter necessarily, as ironic as that sounds. It means you made a decision, a choice, that took you in one direction or another. You gave your work appropriate notice, and decided to change your path. You didn't 'wimp out and quit' after a day and never show up again. I believe that while personal happiness shouldn't always be the motivation for our choices, a lot of times (when we're living the gospel, particularly), what makes us happy is what is best for us and our family and is where the Lord is trying to lead us. Not always, but a lot of the time. Maybe a better way to say it is that whatever brings us PEACE, is something we should follow. I hope that all made sense. Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteCera Keeler